FIVE THINGS I LEARNT IN ISOLATION

Seven years ago I spent over a month in isolation during radiotherapy treatment. For the first ten days I was confined to a sealed hospital room after popping a radioactive pill. No one was allowed near me, meals was served through a letterbox, everything was wrapped in cling film and visitors were instructed to stay behind a lead screen to reduce exposure. There was no WiFi or phone signal so binge watching Netflix, FaceTiming family or scrolling through social media wasn’t an option. Audiobooks and podcasts weren’t a thing then either. My only interaction was a sterile visit from the physicist every morning to check radiation levels, otherwise it was cold turkey.

Once my levels dropped and I was allowed to leave hospital, I was told to physically distance myself from people for up to another three weeks to minimise further risk. I couldn’t do the things I had missed most like hug my mum, play with my nieces and nephews, go for a walk in the woods or visit friends. Life was carrying on around me whilst I was stuck in time.

I didn’t realise back then, but that experience taught me so much about myself. Lots of it has parallels with what we’re all going through now, except this time we’re all in it together - as a global community - and there is a small amount of comfort that we can take from being able to confront the challenges ahead collectively.

Here’s some of the lessons I learned: 

1) Deprivation builds appreciation: whenever something or someone is taken from us we build a deep sense of gratitude in anticipation of its return. Deprivation helps us realise (very quickly) what is really important. We rarely force ourself into the hardships that offer us this level of perspective, so when its thrust upon unexpectedly - like now - recognising its significance of the clarity it will bring is crucial. We often find that it’s when life is stripped back it’s the simple things we treasure most. Understanding what you value most - family, nature, exercise, friends or anything else - can be used as the building blocks to reset your life when the pace starts to pick up. Everything else you crave initially is just habit and privilege that you will soon forget, and that is a true blessing to be reminded about.  

2) Breath brings calm: deep breathing is one of the most powerful tools I have developed to deal with anxiety, and yet one of the most underrated and undervalued. Breathing properly can help us cope with highly stressful situations. Why? It’s very simple…. as you take a deep breath it signals your brain to relax, which then relays this signal back to your body…and you begin to calm down. Try it.

Take a long, slow breath in through your nose…
Fill your lungs from the bottom to the top and hold for your breath for three full seconds…
Exhale slowly through pursed lips (keeping control of the breath) and relax the muscles in your jaw, face, shoulders and stomach as you release…
Do this five times and I promise you’ll feel better. 

3) Mastering discipline instills good habits: every aspect of our lives out of synch right now. We’re worried about family, friends, finances, food and the future which is a perfectly normal response this situation, so don’t feel bad for it. However, the best thing we can do for our wellbeing is to instil some discipline that creates structure and build rhythm into our days to feel happier and more in control - the science says so. Now is not the time to mount pressure on yourself with overcommitments to learn new languages, knit, bake or anything else. It’s the time to slowly build up good habits through disciplined behaviour. In hospital my aim was simple: set an alarm and get up at the same time every day, shower, eat and read my books. The structure to my days evolved naturally and I gravitated towards things that interested me. I wrote more, I listened to music, I thought a lot and slowly got comfortable with the corners of my mind. Go easy on yourself as you adapt, but try and instil a semblance of routine.

4) Tuning out really means tuning in: we live mostly through screens these days - laptop, phone, TV, tablet - and we’re consuming huge amounts of information that it’s overwhelming… yet we don’t realise the impact its having as we barely allow ourselves time to think. Instead we race through the days. When solitude is imposed on us - like now - it can can feel daunting. It’s hard to adjust to a slower pace when you’ve been living in overdrive. Allow ourselves to delve into our thoughts rather than constantly seeking distraction is rare but powerful. It’s in these moments of stillness and solitude that we learn who we are. Tuning out brings us back to the present. It creates awareness and appreciation for things we usually miss because we’re not looking. Once you disconnect with the outer world you reconnect with yourself and life starts to present itself in full colour, high definition again.

5) Creative outlets are cathartic: feeling bored is OK… in fact, it’s a good thing because it will route you towards what genuinely interests you. Embrace it. I got the idea to start this blog whilst in hospital as I gave my mind time to wander and get creative... because I literally had nothing else to do! Writing has always been my way to make sense of the world or situations that I’m struggling to deal with. I write letters to people but never send them. I write blogs but never share them. Often writing is a way to process feelings that would otherwise be ignored. Whatever your outlet is - exercise, painting, drawing, meditating, dancing, cooking - or anything else, now is the time to finally indulge in it without feeling guilty. We often prioritise the unimportant trivial parts of life over the things that make us happiest and create the space to learn more about who we really are. Take this time to shift the power back and let boredom reign for a while and direct you where you need to go.

There’s no denying that this unprecedented situation is scary but the entire world is going through the same rollercoaster of emotions. Now more than ever community spirit and kindness is what needs to underpin everything we do. We should all learn to lean on, and support, each other as we muddle through the unknowns we confront over the coming months.

What have you learned about yourself in the last couple of weeks? I’d love to know any more thoughts on this, and I’m sure other readers would too.